The first day of the rest of my life…

I am an ex-junior doctor.

I worked in the NHS for just over two years. I went to medical school for six years. But in 2015, at the age of 26, I resigned from my job. I wrote the post below shortly after I handed in my resignation, and I have been using this blog ever since to document my career journey, and the emotional process of leaving something that had become such a huge part of my identity.

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16th October 2015

I’ve quit my job as a doctor. I can hardly believe I’ve done it, but I have.

Despite all the political turmoil surrounding junior doctor contracts at the moment, and the threat of worsening working conditions, this government’s idiocy is not the only reason I’m leaving.

This has been a long time coming. I never really wanted to be a doctor, but when you’re 15 years old and choosing your GCSEs at school, it’s very difficult not to be influenced by the adults around you who tell you that you’re good at science, and therefore you should do medicine.

I have tried. I really have. I passed every exam at medical school, I got a good job in London, I got very good feedback from my peers, my mentors and my patients – but there was always something missing, and that something ate away at me inside for months on end, killing my passion, fading my colours away.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. I have no plan as such, only a dream to get back into my true loves: creative writing and modern foreign languages. I have no new job lined up for when I finish on December 4th. It is perhaps a little mad to do things this way, with no plan B, but quitting will hopefully give me the impetus to do now what I have been putting off for a very long time.

I want to use this blog to document my journey, and also talk about my experiences as a doctor: the good, the bad, and the terrible. I can now be brutally honest about what it’s really like to work for the NHS – since I’m leaving anyway, I won’t have to worry about losing my job for speaking out!

The NHS can be a brutal and frankly unsafe place to work, and I realised that, without the desire to give up my entire life for his profession, staying in it would be simply too hard. If it isn’t your passion, the huge sacrifices involved in being a doctor just don’t feel worth it.

I have no regrets about my medical career; it was a fantastic experience and has made me who I am today, but it does not define me. The day I leave will be the first day of the rest of my life, and I cannot wait to get started.

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5 thoughts on “The first day of the rest of my life…

  1. I can feel your frustration. I’ve been there, struggling to find a way out, feeling trapped, feeling guilty, but eventually you find a way out because there is no other choice to. I’m proud of you for making this leap. Trust me when I say that it was the greatest decision you have ever made, especially since it was made for you not to please anyone else.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Excellent blog post. Really admire your confidence in your decision. Do you mind me asking at what stage you resigned as I am contemplating doing the same but don’t know if I should do so abruptly. Thanks

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your question! I’m in the middle of my FY2 at the moment. I was going to finish the year but I’ve decided not to. I’ll blog about my reasons for that in my next post to give you more details 🙂

      Like

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